Why Do People Get Married?

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(Disclaimer: There is every possibility that a sane mind will find this crass. Please proceed at your own discretion.)

Why do people get married? - something that has always intrigued me.

Listed below are some reasons I thought why? And following each of those points is my take on it - in red.

 1. To 'officially' have someone you can share everything with.. happiness, sorrow, grief, success, failures.. money.. even your body for that matter.

 It's natural for a human to be wanting to share these abstract feelings and materialistic objects with a fellow being. But why would you want to 'marry' someone AND get into a contract promising to honor it for an entire lifetime. For example, if it's money, you can share it with the needy people around, the poor, the destitute, there are forgotten people around us who may just die if YOU don't give them. NOTHING can beat the satisfaction you would get by sharing with them.

 2. You need a reason to live - something to look forward to - thereby have kids - who will go on to become your definition for progress in life. You probably want them to do and achieve things you wanted in your life but somehow couldn't.

 It's fine to be wanting so. But are you sure you don't have a greater reason in life? Atal Bihari Vajpayee, Narendra Modi (Edit: I gather now that he is married but as good as single), Anna Hazare, Ratan Tata, Mother Teresa, Oprah Winfrey, the Wright brothers, Cameron Diaz, the list goes on. Two things common about everybody in this set of people - 1) they are all single 2) they had a greater reason to expend their lives towards.

Disclaimer: I don't think having kids/family is 'necessarily' an impediment to doing great things with your life.

 3. You want to reproduce and make sure there is a descendant who will take your blood line forward.

 This is as worse as it can get. Why would you want to give birth to living beings just so that you can call yourself the creator of two more people in this world with the same surname as yours.

 4. Sex (At least for men who were starved of it before marriage). For guys who have already had enough of it, they may want to get married to the most beautiful of all women, somebody who would go on to become the envy of his friend circle.

You can get the best of it, as long as you have good money to spend on it. And it's no rocket science that a single guy will always have more money in his bank account compared to his peer who is married.

 5. To avoid loneliness. You don't want to come home after a tiring day's work to see an empty house, switch on the lights yourself, have nobody to serve you food, have dinner alone.

Depends on how you perceive it. As May Sarton said,"Loneliness is the poverty of self; solitude is richness of self." There is no companion as companionable as solitude. And nothing beats the freedom that comes along with it.

 6. For guys - You want someone who can make your life somewhat organized. Somebody who would cook timely good food for you, somebody who will ensure that your kitchen sink is not stinking of unwashed utensils all the time, will keep your house clean, will ensure that you always have washed, ironed clothes to wear to office.

If you have enough money, you can have a maid do this for you; avoids the liabilities that comes along with having a wife. As one of my friends once said, if you need milk, you buy milk, you don't get home a cow.

 7. Financial security (At least for women without it before marriage). For the ones who already have it, they may want to get married to an even richer man who has a fat enough pocket to satisfy her greater material desires and somebody they can proudly parade in their friend circle for the rest of their lives.

It's fine to be wanting so, if you are sure that you are not self-sufficient enough to satiate your material desires, and if scoring brownie points in your friend circle really gets you that amount of happiness.

 8. You don't want to be alone, feel forgotten and invisible in your old age. You hope to have some support in the form of your son(s)/daughter(s) who will take care of you in your old days.

You are being selfish here. You want to bring one more life to this world just so that he/she can give you good care in your old days. If you have enough money, you can hire a home nurse who can do a much better and professional job at this.

 9. It's a universal norm, an unwritten rule. Our parents did it. Everybody does it. You too did it/will do it. Never bothered to think of the converse.

Ignorance is bliss.

 10. You fell in love with someone and every moment you spend with that person seems perfect bliss. You want to marry that person so that the entire rest of your life becomes 'blissful'.

Love is nothing but a dopamine acting on your brain. What I call EBT - Ephemeral Biological Trap. More often than not, the effect of this dopamine is very transient. The bliss part usually starts fading off after honeymoon.

The above argument leads me to the next question - Why should you stay single then? (Now, this is purely from a guy's perspective.)

1. Freedom. You are a free bird. You are not accountable to anybody on what you do, where you do, how you do, why you do.

2. You don't have a liability in the form of a wife. You don't have to part with your hard earned money to fulfill her whims and fancies. Instead, you can use that time and money to indulge in your desires and ambitions. More importantly, mental peace.

3. Having kids is optional even after marriage. But then not marrying 'almost' negates the possibility of having kids. Why take a chance? And hence, you don't have to spend on their upbringing, education, health. Massive amount of savings in terms of money. Again, you can use this saved time and money to do things that you always wanted to. This also negates a lifetime of tension that you would otherwise have to live with inevitably, for most part of your married life - starting from cleaning your baby's poop to putting up with his/her in-laws' tantrums once he/she gets married.

4. Staying clear of the risk of losing all your property and money in alimony in case of divorce. More so, since the laws now are highly skewed in the favor of the fairer sex.

5. If you really are curious about tasting life living one-on-one with a member of the opposite sex, you are free to try out this first-of-a-kind modern day innovation called - 'live-in relationships'. No strings attached. Unlike in a marriage, you are free to move on if things don't work out fine. No alimony asked.

6. No risk of you losing interest in your spouse and a subsequent divorce, once the love-dopamine effect fades off.

7. You have a lot of time and mind space to invest in things you like, compared to your peer who has a wife, 2 kids, and in-laws.

Half of the adults (aged 18 or above) today in US believe that marriage is an obsolete idea. Again, only 51% of the total adult population in US is married today - an all-time low. I am citing US as an example here because more often than not, what happens there is often the trendsetter for the rest of the world. Not just in US, but marriage rates are at a record low across the globe today. It's a microcosm of the future that beckons us.